Herobaum And The Golden Calf
Once upon a time in the magical kingdom of Heromania, there lived a great and powerful ruler. His name was Herobaum of Herosalem, and his legend transcended even the most powerful of kings.
Herobaum was a man of justice, honor, and brilliance. He was beloved by his people and considered to be the most kind and wise of all the rulers of Heromania.
Unfortunately, this golden age of peace was threatened by the invasion of the Egyptians. The Egyptians were a ruthless and powerful force that had spread their influence over the region, subduing weaker kingdoms and conquering their lands. They had become a force to be reckoned with, and Heromania was no exception.
The people of Heromania were fearful of the Egyptian invaders and their powerful army, and cast about for a way to protect themselves.
Herobaum often thought long and hard about how best to defend his people, and eventually he came up with a brilliant solution: the Golden Calf.
He called upon the people of Heromania to bring forth all the gold they could find, and to fashion it into a mighty calf-shaped structure. Herobaum declared the structure a symbol of his people’s bravery and declared that anyone who fought alongside the calf would fight for justice and freedom.
After the Golden Calf was constructed, Herobaum declared that it had magical powers. By waving his scepter at the calf, he could summon a great army of boy soldiers. The boys were equipped with swords, shields, and bows and arrows. They were fierce warriors, and they fought with honor and courage.
The Golden Calf was a dairy calf. In order to get a dairy cow to produce milk she must give birth. If she gives birth to a female then the calf is raised and eventually sold or milked like her mother. If the calf is a boy then he is usually only fed for a short while and then slaughtered for veal. The male dairy calves therefore represent the boys who are often raised only to be slaughtered in battle in their youth. To worship the Golden Calf is to pay tribute to these boys.
And so, the king put one golden calf in the city of Bethel and the other in the city of Dan. (1 Kings 12:29)
The Egyptian army was in awe of the courage and skill of the boy soldiers, and they quickly realized they were in trouble. The Egyptians outnumbered the boy soldiers, yet it was not enough against the courage and skill of Herobaum’s army. Wave after wave of the Egyptian army was decimated by the boy soldiers, and the Egyptians soon knew they were beaten.
In a show of mercy and justice, Herobaum allowed the defeated Egyptians to leave Heromania unharmed. In exchange, the Egyptians agreed to never return and spread their reign of terror over the people of Heromania again.
Herobaum and his people celebrated their brave victory, and the Golden Calf became a symbol of their courage and honor. Now, children and adults alike have become inspired by the story of Herobaum and the Golden Calf. They still tell the story of the brave boy soldiers, and of the great king who fought fire with fire and saved his kingdom from certain destruction.
Herobaum is still known today as the King of Heromania who fought fire with fire and used the Golden Calf to help summon an army against the Egyptian invaders. He is a hero and an inspiration to all who hear the tale of how he used strength and justice to protect his kingdom.
TLDR; The story of Kings Heroboam and Rehoboam and the Golden Calf seem random and borderline crazy to most. However, when one understands that the Israelites were in an ethnic conflict with Ancient Egypt things make a bit more sense. Black Africans had taken control of Egypt and they want to enslave the white Israelites along racial lines. Heroboam fought back against this with the Golden Dairy Calf which symbolized white supremacy because only white people could enjoy dairy. In ancient times just like today white supremacy was not popular and so, despite Heroboam saving the people from being enslaved again, he was still seen as the bad guy, because he lead the white race.
